Who are you allowing to speak into your life?

    Growing up, most of us were all groomed for three things:- 1. to get good grades, 2. to get good jobs and 3. to have good wives or husbands. Those were all that mattered. Here is the thing, our parents or the adults around us led us to believe that those are the most meaningful things in life. Those are the only things after God that we should all aim to achieve. Fast forward to this present day in my life. I struggled with number one. I am unsure with number two, and I am yet to see number three. Let's go back to the beginning.

    I was always the weird one, never interested in smoking or drinking, and crowds made me uncomfortable, so there was no partying either. However, I was the one who was more sensitive than others, would care more about others than myself and was the most obedient. I was also the one with the most insecurities and the lowest confidence. According to two teachers, I accidentally walked in on the day of the exam results. I was also the least likely to graduate. Keeping in mind, I was ten years old at that time. 

    Moving on to Junior high school, my insecurities grew larger. I was failing just as the teachers had said. I was least likely to graduate. Everything kept declining, and they were right. in senior high school, I failed every subject. I finished school at the age of fifteen (15) years old with nothing. I felt like a failure. I was a huge disappointment. The people I thought were my friends were now treating me like a disease. Here is where my story begins. I have learned, you have to be at your lowest to see where you need to be. Thankfully with the parents I have, they refused to allow my story to end at that point. My story, rewritten. I graduated, accomplishing number one.

    Eighteen years old now, eager to work and make my own money, I am hired to work on a farm. To me, this was the greatest thing ever. I could now start a path to do the things I wanted to do. I was now helping to pay bills. I was independent. Sadly, this was only temporary. 

    A year after, I interned at a Government institution. In the nine (9) months of my contract, I continued to improve myself. Approximately one (1) year after that internship, I started another project at another Government Institution. Here is where I remained. I pursued a Bachelor in Business Computing, completed some other courses while working. I got promoted and later pursued a Master's in Business Management. Through this period, I endured heartache, failures, exhaustion and disappointment. By the grace of God, I accomplished it and graduated. 

    Fast forward to 2021. I accomplished certificates in Introduction to Counselling, Advanced Counselling and a certificate in 'How To effectively lead change'. Who knows what I am to pursue later on. This story is not to boast but as a testimony to prove that God has a better plan even though others may condemn you. You may not have started out doing your best, but keep working, keep praying and keep practicing. 

Thinking Out Loud

We go about our daily lives, not caring about anything or anyone. We place emphasis only on the things that directly affect us, taking no concern or consideration for those around us. It’s only when there is a crisis, we seek to get help, but it’s too late, you have already pushed people away with your lack of humanity, your disgusting behaviour, and your unforgivable attitude. Why do we have to reach to crisis point to realise our bad ways?

These past few months have taught me about humanity, I am one who always looked out for others, but it made me more aware of those around me. It made me realise who I can depend on in times of crisis and who was just a prop or show, who really cared or who was just to deceive. It just goes to show, sometimes it takes a crisis for us to get out of places we should have never been, be it physical, spiritual, mental or emotional.

We depended on the wrong things, the job that you thought could not do without you, guess what, you can’t do anything right now. The people that you thought you could not go one day without seeing, guess what, your day continued. Now you are faced with a dilemma because the family members you pushed away for the job; are the ones you have to go back to at this time. Priorities are beginning to come to the forefront. The thought of losing everything makes you re-evaluate your life choices, doesn’t it? 

So where do we go from here? The earth is healing, nature is alive and bustling once more, can we take an example from nature and being to heal ourselves as well? Your children you neglected, now is that time to mend that relationship, give them hope. The spouse you mistreated and took for granted, the parent/s you shouted “I HATE YOU” to, now is your chance to apologise before it’s too late. And the God you said you don’t need, now is that time to build that relationship with. I am fixing me, are you fixing you?