Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts

Saturday 2 October 2021

Who are you allowing to speak into your life?

    Growing up, most of us were all groomed for three things:- 1. to get good grades, 2. to get good jobs and 3. to have good wives or husbands. Those were all that mattered. Here is the thing, our parents or the adults around us led us to believe that those are the most meaningful things in life. Those are the only things after God that we should all aim to achieve. Fast forward to this present day in my life. I struggled with number one. I am unsure with number two, and I am yet to see number three. Let's go back to the beginning.
    I was always the weird one, never interested in smoking or drinking, and crowds made me uncomfortable, so there was no partying either. However, I was the one who was more sensitive than others, would care more about others than myself and was the most obedient. I was also the one with the most insecurities and the lowest confidence. According to two teachers, I accidentally walked in on the day of the exam results. I was also the least likely to graduate. Keeping in mind, I was ten years old at that time. 
    Moving on to Junior high school, my insecurities grew larger. I was failing just as the teachers had said. I was least likely to graduate. Everything kept declining, and they were right. in senior high school, I failed every subject. I finished school at the age of fifteen (15) years old with nothing. I felt like a failure. I was a huge disappointment. The people I thought were my friends were now treating me like a disease. Here is where my story begins. I have learned, you have to be at your lowest to see where you need to be. Thankfully with the parents I have, they refused to allow my story to end at that point. My story, rewritten. I graduated, accomplishing number one.
    Eighteen years old now, eager to work and make my own money, I am hired to work on a farm. To me, this was the greatest thing ever. I could now start a path to do the things I wanted to do. I was now helping to pay bills. I was independent. Sadly, this was only temporary. 
    A year after, I interned at a Government institution. In the nine (9) months of my contract, I continued to improve myself. Approximately one (1) year after that internship, I started another project at another Government Institution. Here is where I remained. I pursued a Bachelor in Business Computing, completed some other courses while working. I got promoted and later pursued a Master's in Business Management. Through this period, I endured heartache, failures, exhaustion and disappointment. By the grace of God, I accomplished it and graduated. 
    Fast forward to 2021. I accomplished certificates in Introduction to Counselling, Advanced Counselling and a certificate in 'How To effectively lead change'. Who knows what I am to pursue later on. This story is not to boast but as a testimony to prove that God has a better plan even though others may condemn you. You may not have started out doing your best, but keep working, keep praying and keep practicing. 






Thursday 23 August 2012

Boy Bye!

As I sit here I can clearly see your face flashing before my eyes, the one that I want, the one that I desire but cannot have, still I keep holding on to a dream, a small glitter of hope, wishing, wanting and longing to hold you if just for a moment, but I can never reach you, I can never have you, why? why won’t you just stop for a brief moment and see what’s in front of you, instead you chase a dream of your own that can never be fulfilled, and I am always there to comfort you when things go down but yet still you will never see me as the way I want you to. 

 Every time I think of this situation, a surge of emotion passes through my body and the tears begin to flow, but I cannot confess this to no one else but myself... I constantly ask the Lord to take away these feelings that I have for you, but no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I try to hate you I always find myself falling back for you and in ways I myself can never understand. Why do you have this hold on me? What about you that I keep getting drawn to? Why are you the only one that is so hard to forget? I need to find a way to remove myself from you, to forget your face, to erase all memories of you but it’s so hard.

 Life is so funny, the moment I forget about you the moment that I move on will be the exact moment that you realise what you lost, but it will be too late. Because I will already have dealt with these emotions, I would have already forgotten the memories of you. I would already found the one that feels the same way for me as I do for them. So this is my goodbye to you, away from the pain and heartache that you bring, my goodbye away from the hurt that I endure wishing that you would see me instead of the beauties with no brains that you often run after, my goodbye from you to a place of peace and acceptance, my goodbye to you, and hello to a brand new beginning.