True Love, When Are You Coming?

Some people have been lucky to find true love in the right places and at the right times, some were even luckier to be with the person that they are in love with, but for those of us that are not so lucky, we are stuck to the bottom of the barrel, scraping our way through, till we find what we are looking for. Now hear me out, we all are searching for our own version of love, but what if we are looking in the wrong places. Why do we look at romantic movie or books for advice, and get disappointed when it does not turn right? Aren’t these things supposed to be a fantasy? Then why rely on them for help? Unless the book is the Bible, then that advice will not help.

Aren’t you sick and tired of answering questions about why are you still single and what went wrong? Sadly for some, these questions are from themselves. You smile the widest, but at nights, your tears tell the stories of your heartbreak best. The shadow of loneliness sneaks up and leaves you exposed to reality and you feel the emptiness of the whole world in the debts of your soul. It feels like happiness is missing you and hitting everyone else but still no matter how much you try to hold on it keeps slipping away from you.

Maybe true love is just a myth for some and a reality for others, but how would you know for sure when you don’t even know what you are looking for. You see your version of true love may be different from someone else but no one ever mentions this. No one ever takes the time to assess themselves and find out what is best for them, you have been so brainwashed by the follies of this world, that in the end you are more depressed or confused than when you first started. Love is complicated, but yet we all rush into it even though we don’t understand it, hence heartbreak. Maybe one day I would understand what true love really is, but for now, I am taking my time. Maybe it will hit me when I least expect it. Until then, I am enjoying life. :)

Where are you God?

I used to ask myself this question a lot, everything that did not go my way I would always question God, then I would wonder why am I being punished, but then I got to realise that I was the root of most of my problems, not anybody else, me.
We as humans always want things to go our way and we as humans always find ourselves in situations and expect God to save us, when we need to just be patient. So what if things aren’t going right or you are not in the position you should be in at the moment. Just be thankful that you are no longer in the situation you were once in before. Sometimes we find that things are moving to slow, so we try to make it go faster, thereby creating more problems for ourselves.
Listen, if you believe that God is bigger than any problem or situation, then let him do his work, did he ask for help when he was creating us, then why are you trying to do his work? Now I am not saying that we should just stop everything and wait, but continue with our daily lives. So you want a promotion, ok then continue working to the best of your ability, so what if it does not happen now, maybe you are not in the right place or you do not have the right qualifications. Then start preparing yourself, remember God never places you in a situation that you are not prepared for, he never gives us more than we can bear.
The same applies in our relationships, sometimes we pray that things get better, we pray for the right people to come into our lives, but when change does happen we question it. Whoever said life was easy is lying, nothing in life worth having is easy, it takes work, practise and commitment. So we need to ask ourselves one question, how much do I need or want it? and work towards that. Start changing your outlook on life and yourself, and maybe, just maybe your situation will get better.
 

Boy Bye!

As I sit here I can clearly see your face flashing before my eyes, the one that I want, the one that I desire but cannot have, still I keep holding on to a dream, a small glitter of hope, wishing, wanting and longing to hold you if just for a moment, but I can never reach you, I can never have you, why? why won’t you just stop for a brief moment and see what’s in front of you, instead you chase a dream of your own that can never be fulfilled, and I am always there to comfort you when things go down but yet still you will never see me as the way I want you to. 

 Every time I think of this situation, a surge of emotion passes through my body and the tears begin to flow, but I cannot confess this to no one else but myself... I constantly ask the Lord to take away these feelings that I have for you, but no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I try to hate you I always find myself falling back for you and in ways I myself can never understand. Why do you have this hold on me? What about you that I keep getting drawn to? Why are you the only one that is so hard to forget? I need to find a way to remove myself from you, to forget your face, to erase all memories of you but it’s so hard.

 Life is so funny, the moment I forget about you the moment that I move on will be the exact moment that you realise what you lost, but it will be too late. Because I will already have dealt with these emotions, I would have already forgotten the memories of you. I would already found the one that feels the same way for me as I do for them. So this is my goodbye to you, away from the pain and heartache that you bring, my goodbye away from the hurt that I endure wishing that you would see me instead of the beauties with no brains that you often run after, my goodbye from you to a place of peace and acceptance, my goodbye to you, and hello to a brand new beginning.

    

Dark Skinned Vs Light Skinned Saga

 All my life I have been discriminated against, either I was to skinny, to plain or to dark, well you know what I say, to hell with all of you who discriminated against me, the Lord has made me this way, and who am I to try and modify God's creation, at least I am being myself.

           The growing trend that is going on now has left me to wonders what the hell is going on in this world, the trend where unless you lighten your skin you are not beautiful. To all of you who think this way I call you IDIOTS and I do not apologise, who the hell are you to tell me I am not pretty enough, who are you to tell me dark skinned people are ugly, who are you to treat me like scum of the earth, who are you to force your preferences upon me?.

           For all my dark skinned people I say love yourself and be not ashamed of the colour of your skin, be not afraid to shine when the world see you as ugly, be not afraid to smile in the face of discrimination. God made each one with a purpose in life, he did not die for the light skinned or the dark skinned, the Whites, the Blacks the Chinese or anybody else he died for all of us, when you cut our skin you see the same colour blood, you see the same pink flesh, when we die, we either go to Heaven or Hell.

           To anyone who is reading this, I did not write this for fame or for your approval, I wrote this because it is hurting me to see us as a nation moving back to the slavery thinking and mentality, from my knowledge slavery was abolished between the year 1833 – 1981 all over the world and I am not going to sell myself short to anyone’s ignorance.

Skinny Biatch

For years I have been hearing people going on diets to be skinny, for years I have seen numerous amounts of weight loss ads that claim they are the best and for years I have seen people depressed trying to become something they are not meant to be, that is skinny. My question is why is it such a big deal to be skinny? I have been skinny for my whole life, and trust me, it’s not all glitz and glam, we skinny people feel depressed as well, well some of us. I blame fashion magazines and society for this.

I have spent the latter half of my youth trying to put on weight because I was told I was too skinny, which is kind of impossible since neither my mother nor my father is fat, so any chance for me gaining weight would have to be through child birth, and I am sorry to say, a child is a no no at the moment. The more I tried to gain weight, the more it would become a failed attempt and the more depressed I became. Instead of gaining weight I would lose, so imagine an even skinner me, my measurements already 34 (bust), 25 (waist) and (37) hips and weighing 119 lb.

Now I am not saying this to boast, but just to show that skinny people has some insecurities as well, but such is life, its either we accept our flaws or let our imperfections destroy us. Ok so you are fat, if you don’t like it then try being healthy and not skinny; let’s face it, not everyone was meant to be thin, but if everyone stopped trying to fit in just because it’s the “it” thing, then this problem will be a thing of the past. Admit it, the people that pressure you the most about your weight are the people with the worst problems.

Come on people, it’s time you start living for yourself and stop letting others dictate the pace of your journey. Be comfortable in your own skin, yes it’s easier said and done, but it’s worth a try, what do you have to lose? Stop letting society be the mold for your existence. Start living you own life